Calling

I was raised in a Christian home. I wore my pretty dresses to church every Sunday. I went to a private Christian school from preschool thru eighth grade. Most of my summer memories include one church camp or another. I've had highs and lows with religion and have had to take a good hard look at my beliefs over the past 5ish years.

At first, it was really difficult to determine whether I believed in God because that was how I was raised, or if I believed in God because He was present in my life and I had faith that He was my truth. I guess the answer to that is a little of both. The next toughest aspect of this was questioning the way I interpret the Bible. I don't have all the answers- and I'm not trying to. I just know what I believe in my core and I know what feels right in my soul. I believe in a loving Father who gives me freedom and will to choose Him. I don't follow a literal translation of the Bible, but I see it as the greatest reference guide to life. I am so turned off by the idea of church- for one, it just seems for conforming (yes, I guess that's the rebel in me), but mostly it just seems really fake. There is such a huge need for love and compassion in our world and the doors of a church just seem so closed off by that. I definitely see the good in church and think it's a great way to stay connected with other believers, but I still feel like there is a huge lack of acceptance and being able to truly show who you are. I'm sure this isn't true of every church, but it is true of my experiences.

I digress. Basically, I just wanted to share about where I stand with the Big Guy. Never more than these last few months have I seen Him in my life in a really big way. Not just because there are some really awesome and positive things happening in my life-- there are quite a few of those! But I am seeing Him in every little decision. I feel like my heart has expanded so much and I just feel this huge sense to LOVE on others. Skip all the verses in the Bible, the sermons at church, and the daily devotionals-- the big picture is that God calls us to love. I am so excited that I finally have this very clear picture of who He is and who He desires me to be. I may not follow a Christian lifestyle-- I still feel like church is an akward place and not somewhere I care to be, I still cuss like a sailor, and I don't give my time or money to a church-- but I do feel like I have been called to show his love and compassion to others. I am so excited about really exploring what that means outside of my little bit of life.