The past keeps catching up

Reporting an income of $128,645.76 to the IRS would actually be pretty exciting to me. In fact, that's just under 3 years' worth of income for me. Too bad this came by way of a 1099 and an amount of debt cancelled. By the way, debt cancelled is considered income, even though that money never touched my bank account. And it is also taxed as income, meaning it faces the same 23% (or so) I would normally pay on any real wages. We are trying to find a way to work around this one.... there are some laws protecting certain groups of people and there are some other ways around it (none that I understand or am ready to try just to see what happens). Today I am *hopefully* meeting with my boss's tax consultant to see what he can do. Keep your fingers crossed! I definitely don't have $30,000 hiding in my closet that I can pay the IRS thanks to a short sale on my condo.

7 Reasons Why

Just reflecting on how much I love my man! Here are seven reasons why I love him today:

1. He humbly shows his confidence at times, and it reminds me how strong of a man he is.
2. He doesn't get vulnerable with very many people, but he is not afraid to show any emotion with me.
3. He shares my exact level of excitement for our precious baby on the way.
4. He wants to be involved... in my day, in my heart, in our family.
5. He genuinely cares about the people in my life. He is bummed when he misses out on family events, he asks about my friends, and he makes an effort to stay involved despite his busy work schedule.
6. He has, overnight, become a responsible father. His every desire is to love and care for this growing little family of ours.
7. He is so cute when he compliments me. I wake him up to get a goodbye kiss when I leave for work and he always finds something special to pay attention to. Today it was "You look really cute with that clip in you hair". Not many guys notice or comment on things like that.

Grrrr...

My current gripe:

Wedding Planning.

Baby has definitely taken precedence over wedding, so what we had planned to spend on our wedding has now become the Baby Fund. Neither of us can imagine ourselves going to the courthouse for a signed piece of paper and then that's it. Love is all about celebration and sharing it with those around you. We are determined to have some type of party for our wedding, no matter how small.

...but then there's that next little thing: where do we have our party? I've successfully cut our guestlist from 231 to 150. Next step was cutting it enough so we could have the party in my mom's backyard. So then it went from 150 to 104. Then we were told even 50 people is a tight squeeze in her backyard, so I was forced to cut once again. So now... the official number, including hurt feelings and even family being cut, is 70. SEVENTY people is our bare minimum. Yikes! So now that I can't cut it any further, I'm still left with the question: where the heck are we going to have our wedding???

I'm not overwhelmed with the seating chart, matching my shoes perfectly with my dress, selecting my bridal party, or even planning our honeymoon. I am simply overwhelmed with the fact that I can't find a place that won't cost me thousands of dollars just to throw a party.

Wahhhh.

Sisters

I'm so lucky to have these amazing girls in my life! Each one of them enriches me in different ways... they all make me laugh, cry, and love like crazy. I'm so glad we have our lives to share together :)

Rose Gold

Today's obsession:

These rose-gold toned watches! My man bought me an awesome Fossil watch for my birthday that I wear all the time! It's white, so it goes well with most things. The rose-gold will be a little trickier to match, but I'm up for the challenge! Hope this one lands on my wrist for, say, Valentine's Day??

I dig the square fellow on the bottom :)

My Obsession

Blogging is always so enticing to me. Yet I never EVER do it! I am obsessed with people who update their blog often... it gives me something to do on my lunch break other than Facebook. As far as updating mine? Psh! When I find time....

So for now: what I'm currently obsessed with.

BRC Burritos from El Pollo Loco. My pregnancy has been nothing close to smooth (and I'm just barely 6 weeks!) and my diet has consisted of yogurt, carrots, bananas, oranges, and crackers. Lots of crackers. I'm so grateful I have begun craving things that actually make my tummy feel better. BRC is a God-send and I swear if the El Pollo Loco across the street from my house had a drive-thru, I'd probably be there a couple times a day!

Deja Vue

I often get lost in my thoughts and find myself remembering a completely random scent, feeling, weather, thought, phase, etc. I always try to associate the present-day thing with the memory thing and try to figure out why one reminded me of the other. Sometimes it makes sense. Other times, it feels as if I'm plagued with deja vue and I can't figure out why. Today I started thinking about the random things that pop up in my head and I realized that my deja vue or random musings repeat themselves. I'm not sure if any of these things are significant, but I can't get them out of my brain, so I'll share them with you :)

I remember Christmas morning when I was 8 or 9. I got a pogo stick. I remember the weather distinctly. It was one of the first warm Christmases of my life. I remember smiling as I jumped around on my newest toy and I remember feeling like "this is the life"...actually, I remember those exact words running through my head. Someone--can't remember if it was my mom or dad-- was video taping.

Whenever I hear running water it brings me back to my old bedroom. This is the thing I miss absolutely the most in my life. At night, I used to fall asleep to the sound of the shower running in my mom's room next door. I never really found that as something comforting until I had been out of her house for a few years. When things with Matt fell apart and my mom welcomed me back into her home, I moved back into my old room. The first night my mom turned on the shower, this sudden sense of calm, safety, and security came over me. This 24 year old woman felt 5 years old again. That noise is one of the best sounds I know.

Ok, so that was only 2 things... but as I wrote them, all the significance became incredibly obvious. I guess I'm missing that sense of family, happiness, and security I felt as a kid. I smile immediately as I think of these great memories and feelings that I will soon be able to create with a family of my own =)