Things to Come

Recently, my thoughts have been consumed with things to come. I am looking forward to SOOOO many things in the coming months that it's a little overwhelming how excited I am! Here's the short-term list:

• Baby shower! Not only am I so excited to celebrate this little one with my friends and family, but I am also so anxious to see how my sister pulls this one off! She is so creative and always has the best decor and themes for parties. I know she's going to make me feel so special that day. I also can't wait for all the gifts! Might sound selfish, but hey, why not get excited about that? I'm so excited to complete Jane's room and get familiar with all her gear before she arrives (64 day countdown!!).
• Childbirth Classes! We had a hospital tour night last week. It's not to say that I wasn't looking forward to it, I just didn't think it would be a super exciting night. I'm a planner and I was definitely looking forward to seeing the rooms I'll deliver and recover in. Little things like that give me peace of mind. But to my great surprise (and Jake's!) we had a really fun night. There were about 10 vendors in the lobby selling everything from baby gear to massage sessions. We were in a room surrounded by over 100 other mommies and their partners. It's really a strange bond you feel when you're pregnant and next to someone else who is pregnant- sometimes there are no words necessary. You both get it :) But being in a huge conference hall with so many other preggo's was quite a treat! One of the nurses walked us through what to expect on delivery day through a powerpoint and then we took a tour of the Women's Hospital with another nurse. A very fun night! This Thursday, we have our Breastfeeding class, and then in August we have 3 weeks of Childbirth Classes. So much to look forward to! I am so thirsty for knowledge of this experience.
• Labor! Maybe a strange thing to be excited about, but I'm really anticipating all the little moments that lead up to that final push. I can't wait to feel my water break, see how I handle contractions, experience mine and Jake's partnership in getting through the pain, that elusive car ride to the hospital (you know, then one everyone talks about when there are those moments of silence as you and Dad realize it's the last time it will be just the two of you!), and so much more!
• Meeting my sweet Baby Jane! I'm overcome with tears and a welling sensation in my chest everytime I think of this little blessing. Jacob and I are so looking forward to meeting her.

As I think of all the things on my short- term list, I can't help but think of the long-term for, actually, the very first time. I guess I thought my baby was going to be an infant forever? Duh! Reality just sunk in that she grows up and changes. And while there are some aspects that really scare me, I am so excited for the things to come! I am so glad I'm having a little girl so we can share some really cool stuff. I can't wait to have movie nights with my little bug- chick flicks galore! I can't wait for her to confide in me about her friends and boys. I can't wait to take her shopping and occasionally spoil her for a day! And even better than all those fun moments, I can't wait to see the type of woman she becomes. What types of choices she makes and what kind of outlook she has on life. Man, am I blessed?!

Coobie Heaven

I recently fell in love. With a bra.

I was shopping with Jacob's mom and aunt when I was dragged into "Fresh Produce"...definitely not my style clothing, but I was a good sport and browsed anyways. I ran across this bra: The Coobie. It is seriously the most comfortable thing in the world! It fits similar to a sports bra, but a lot softer and even has removable pads for extra comfort (or for me, extra coverage since my girls appear to be cold all. the. time.) It was only $20 and it was such a great buy! I was reading "Parents" magazine last week and saw an ad: Buy one Coobie, get the 2nd for free! I thought, "Yeah, right" but I logged onto their website, typed in the code PBOGO and there are currently two amazing Coobie bras being shipped to my house (for the price of one!)

I recommend these bras to everyone now. They comfortably fit anyone from a 32A-36DD. They even have removable straps, which I'm super excited about because that means I can wear my Coobie while nursing :)

Check out their website: www.ShopCoobie.com

Enjoy!

Goodbye to You

Hunter has been such a great friend over the past 8 years. We were acquaintances in high school but grew really close once I graduated. He was one of those friends that would float in and out of my life, but we always shared instant chemistry and it felt like we never skipped a beat. He died last Saturday and it's been really hard adjusting to the idea of him gone. There are alot of mixed feelings facing his death. The past 4 or 5 years, Hunter has battled a nasty addiction that has brought him down countless times. Everytime he pushed himself to sober up, he had such amazing hope and positivity. Unfortunately, addictions are alot more brutal than most of us realize. It's not as simple as saying "no" to a drug-- it's so much more. I've watched him face his demons over the past few years and he has carried such a huge weight on his shoulders knowing that he has hurt his friends and family countless times. As he struggled to maintain sobriety, his guilt was too much to bear and he took his own life. I know what the Bible says about suicide and I can only hope that the Lord has shown mercy on Hunter's broken soul. Hunter believed in God, had a relationship with Jesus, and was baptised a couple years ago. He knew of God's love for him, but his demons seemed to be too strong to let him comfortably accept that he was still wanted and forgiven.

I will always remember how huge of a heart he had. We dated for awhile when I was in college and I can honestly say that nobody has ever loved me with as much passion as he did. I felt like I was the only person alive when I was around him. We had a ton of fun together- while dating, and for years afterwards. He was amazingly talented on the drums and taught me how to play a little. We shared a passion for music and I remember countless car rides with the music blasting and just having fun together. Hunter was also hilarious. He had so many little voices and impersonations that would never cease to amaze me. It felt great to be invited into his little world every once in awhile. I remember his laughter during his dark times, too. He still loved like crazy and kept a smile on everyone else's faces.

Hunter is the first friend I have lost and it's nothing short of overwhelming. I feel such a deep sadness knowing that this isn't just one of our periods of not talking. This time it's for real and I won't ever be able to hear his voice again. I find a little relief knowing that he is not struggling with his addiction anymore and I only hope he is experiencing heaven. I picture him being bathed in sunlight standing with Jesus.

I have been plagued with dreams ever since he passed. One night I woke up 4 or 5 times and fell back to sleep all to experience yet another dream about him. The one that I find the most peace from came a few days before his funeral. In the dream, he was walking with his arm around my shoulder. We were at his funeral and there was a huge line of people waiting to go inside. I remember dropping my head and weeping while we continued walking. Finally, I looked at him and said "Look at how many people love you." I don't know if he will ever realize just how many people loved him and how special he was.

I love you, Hunter! Thank you for always putting a smile on my face. You blessed so many peoples lives and we all miss you.

Photo Numero Uno

-24 Weeks-

Operation: Nursery

Jacob and I have been so excited to get started on Jane's nursery. We bought her bedding the night we found out she was a girl (and the only reason we were hoping for a girl was because we fell in love with this bedding a few weeks earlier)! We spent Saturday afternoon having lunch with my mom and then headed over to Babies R Us to pick out a crib. My mom bought us "the one" (thanks, Mom!) and we were so anxious to get it home to set it up! We spent Monday morning re-arranging the office to make room for baby. Jacob and I were prepared for hours-on-end of crib duty (I've heard horror stories about cribs taking hours to put together!) but we finished in under one. It was fun piecing it together as a team. I have zero patience so you better believe the bedding was on the crib right after that! I melt every time I think about her tiny little body laying in that big giant crib. We pass her room on our way to our bedroom and I can't help but smile every time I peek in and see the crib that she'll be snoozing in in just a few short months!

Next up: painting the nursery!

Nesting

Seems pretty early on in my pregnancy to start nesting, but tonight was unusually productive. I worked ten hours at the restaurant and you'd think I'd just crash the second I got home. Nope! I did two loads of laundry, loaded up the dishwasher, washed a ton of dishes by hand, detailed the microwave, soaked the grates on the stove, detailed the stove, organized two closets, wrapped a present, and as I'm waiting for the final load of laundry to dry, I'm going to start setting up the crib. Whew! I feel exhausted just typing this, but it feels SO good to get all of these random tasks done. I hope that this is a new phase for me and that I get on a cleaning streak until baby arrives!

Belly Bump(s)

I feel like I have been waiting my entire life to be pregnant. Now that I finally am, I have been so anxious for my belly to start showing! I know a few pregnant girls right now and none of them were excited about their growing bellies. I'm the complete opposite- I've been dying to wear the tightest of shirts to show off this little miracle inside. But my belly just isn't growing the right way! Baby Jane is hangin out below my belly-button still and I'm just not getting that round look. You know, when it looks like a bowling ball underneath a t-shirt! I'm stuck in that stage still where strangers can't tell if I'm pregnant or just fat.
I have been so excited to start photographing the progress of the baby bump, but I just haven't felt motivated to do it yet since I'm not quite there. Hurry up, belly! I want the world to know about my little bug inside!